Inspiration

I just started reading Susan Calman’s book Sunny Side Up. I’m on chapter three, so near the start. I like her. I’ve watched her programmes on touring Scotland and her enthusiasm and charm are infectious. 
I was unaware of her publicly stated troubles with depression but from her public persona you would never know. I suppose she is not the first performer whose public image hides a darker side. She has certainly battled her demons. 
I like her cheerfulness. She has made a conscious effort to become happier and you should applaud anyone for that, whether well known or not. 
My wife has gone through a similar process having fallen into depression. Whilst she has slowly dragged herself up from her worse times she is still plagued with the spectre of that dark place and could oh so easily slip. Like Susan she endeavours to try and be happy. In addition she also has to cope with Fibromyalgia an insidious condition that has multiple symptoms and physical effects. I marvel at her strength. Ironically she is a Fitness Consultant and deals with people who are always complaining about their condition not realising that the person they are talking to is far worse off than they are! Her own fitness is one of her strengths and without it she her condition would be much worse.
A word to about the partners, friends and family of those who suffer from any debilitating disease. They suffer to. I don’t mean to be selfish. For a long while I felt as though I was treading on eggshells around her (still am now and then) I was careful what I said or said nothing at all (most unlike me) not knowing what might trigger her frustration and anger. To me it felt like she bit my head for no apparent reason, I never knew what might irritate her. There is always an upside a lesson to be learned. Mine was patience. I was never the most patient of men but her condition taught me to be circumspect and to hold back. There were (and are) times when the dam burst and words were said, harsh words, angry words but we’ve always been able to overcome our heated arguments and they are almost always trivial and over the most insignificant stuff.
At the risk of sounding glib, marriage truly is for better or worse, in sickness an in health, for richer for poorer. These are not just bland words spoken at a ceremony, they are real commitments. We may joke about them and why not but they have real meaning. My wife has supported me over nearly forty years of marriage. She coped with everything when I was close to death having contracted Leukaemia and has always stood by and supported me throughout our years together. Without her I would not be the person I am, a better person. She would say the same about me (I hope!)
She has benefited from her depression and that might sound contrary but it has allowed her to express her feelings better than before and with the help of a Wellness nurse she has come to understand how her childhood has had a strong bearing on her adult life and the resentment it has caused. 
I’m lucky, I am a person who has always been able to express how I feel and whilst I have had some dark moments I’ve never slid into any form of depression. For years I would try and “fix” my wife (that’s what men do) but you can only fix yourself and all you can do is help and remain supportive. 
The first step of any recovery is the admission that there is a problem and that you want to do something about it.

Well I digressed somewhat from Susan Calman and her latest book! She (though she’ll never read this) would appreciate that as her writing has a tendency to do the same. Reading her prose I am feel like I reading the thoughts of a kindred spirit not only in the way she writes but the subject matter is about being kind and having more joy in the your life and the world and I could not agree more.
As soon as I started reading (I’d forgotten I had downloaded it) having just finished the first Game of Thrones (which seemed to go on forever, good though) I was immediately smiling and was heartened to find another whose rambling style seemed so akin to my own. I’m considerably older than Susan so I guess I was there first! When she expressed her admiration for Victoria wood and quoted “beat on the bottom with the women’s weekly” and “two soups” I knew she was my kind of woman. I showed the paragraph to my wife who smiled and nodded her approval. (she had her earplugs in).
I am looking forward to reading the rest, if it’s as amusing as the start then a joy it will be. 
Susan is quite right we do not talk about joy and kindness enough in this troubled world. If you read any of my previous blogs, I mention these two words often.
As Susan says, it only has to be small things, were not looking to have mass kindness or joyful pandemic’s just for each person to exercise being kind and experiencing joy in whatever form suits you. 
It’s not even a hard thing and really we should not even have to encourage people, it is as natural as breathing.
I hope you never experience any lows and I wish your highs are plentiful.
Smile!