Lady Guestling, that first meeting!

You have read on this page a little about my better half, Lady Guestling. She and I have been man and wife for 35 years. We met when I was attached to the embassy in Athens I was a very junior member of Sir Anthony Porringers staff, trying to climb my way further up the greasy pole of Her Majesties diplomatic service. If I say so myself I had a certain dash and charm about me and had some success with the ladies in my 27 years of life. A few had even been close, to becoming the future Mrs Thorn, though I had never made any proposal's but that was about to change forever.

The Embassy staff, had been invited to an opening of an art exhibition, at a rather prestigious gallery owned by one of those Greek shipping tycoons Theopolis Kastianos. I had not intended to go, as I had been challenged to a game of squash by my good friend Danny Blinkinsop. Danny and myself had hit it off due to our common interest in sport, whiskey and cigars, not to mention our collective eye for the fairer sex and dare I say had become a formidable duo of carousing and late night high jinks, for which occasionally we found ourselves up before the beak, or Rodney Snetterton, who was our immediate superior. Dear old Roders heart was never really in the business of a rollicking as he was pleasant chap,without a mean bone in his body, which was good luck for Danny and I!

Well Danny took ill and to his bed, I suspected he had been out the previous evening, I had been on telegram duty and Danny having had a bit to much of the bubbly and probably having returned in the wee small hours,  had obviously decided he was in no fit state to face the Guestling forehand on the squash court! 

The local rich and famous, be they politician or people of commerce, loved to have representation from the British Embassy, we lend a certain cache to these soirees and after all it's what in part we were there for in the first place. On this occasion Sir Anthony had decided to attend, he and Kastianos were more than acquaintances and I always suspected that for a backhander of the old cash, he had used his influence to help the Greek shipping magnate to secure lucrative contracts. Of course I had no proof but Sir Anthony's lifestyle was a little more lavish than his Ambassador's salary would allow! Over time of course and with more experience, Sir Guestling has found ways of enhancing ones remuneration in subtle and Machiavellian ways but once again that is a tale for another time. It is a process as old as the world itself and is probably more prevalent today than ever!

I dare say, that the paintings exhibited by some artist I had never heard of and never heard of again, were very good, I certainly overheard lots of pretentious comments from the gathering as they pretended they had an understanding of the painters style and subjects. No such pretense from Guestling, I did not like them and I certainly did not understand them and nor did I want to, waste of paint if you ask me! I was just beginning to think the whole evening was becoming a  huge boor and was planning to slip away and frequent a few of Danny and I's favored nightspots, when a gap parted in the room and I saw Theopolis Kastianos himself standing there holding forth to a small gathering including Sir Anthony.

Kastianos was a huge man with a pencil mustache and swept back greasy hair, he had the appearance of an overweight Argentinian tango dancer, though I doubt he was have been capable of any of the steps! However, as he turned to one side pointing out some detail of a painting, from his shadow emerged the most handsome girl I had ever seen. I don't mind telling you I was mesmerized, if you had slapped me in the face I would not have noticed, so entranced was I by this heavenly creature. Imagine if you will a combination of Ava Gardner, with hair the colour of Rita Hayworth and a figure that either actress would have died for! She wore a scarlet dress and red heels, there was a small gold chain with a locket hung round her perfect throat and a scarlet ribbon tied in her stunning auburn hair. Well I up until then was not one to believe in love at first sight but I was smitten, I had to meet this beauty and although I felt light headed and giddy, it had to be now, after all I am a Thorn!

I decided boldness was the approach and strode towards her determined to at least find out who this vision was and if nothing else get closer to her ?

I got within a few paces, my focus totally on her, I did not see the waiter coming from my left and apparently he did not see me, we came together, tray, glasses of champers and the two of us hit the deck, glass skidding all over the polished marble floor, liquid staining my suit and flowing in rivulets across the tiles. Embarrassed, I tried to stand up but the floor was slippy and I fell back down and then a silk gloved hand stretched out before me I held it and with remarkable strength, she pulled me upright,  and then the first words I ever heard the future Lady Guestling speak.

You silly arse, your trousers are all wet

I knew right then it was love!