Day 114

Today a dive into the the historical waters of names, I feel should be brought back into fashion. They are all Hebrew and some of them I can’t even pronounce!

Gedeliah, Ahikam, Shapan, Nebuchadnezzar, Mizpah, Ismael, Nethaniah, Johana, Kareah, Seriaih, Tanhumeth, Jaazaniah son of the Maccathite, Elishima, Jehoiachin of Judah and my favourite Merodach King Evil of Babylon

Now to return to a well trodden subject briefly. Lockdown is coming and the PM and his Ministers will get condemned and chastised what ever decision they make! I want to point out that the Conservatives have been in government for 90 of the last 120 years! Which says it all about the values of the people in the UK. The vast majority of that party are elitist, wealthy men and women many of whom have been privately educated. They have no grasp of the problems of most of the population they govern. I don’t know what are considered “ordinary working people” these days but you bet that the Conservatives don’t either and have no conception of what we term as poor! And somehow we keep voting (not me) them in? It is further proof that the opposition is ineffective and that our democratic system is broken! We all want a fair and equitable society (unlikely), we all want our freedom (most of all we do not want to hear the word Covid ever again) but unless there are fundamental changes it will never even get close. It seems inevitably we are our own worst enemy! 

A man came and took photos of the house yesterday. It has never looked so tidy and clean! I tucked so many things away my chances of finding them are unlikely! 

Stay well

 Day 113

Todays word from Susie: BAFFLEGAB incomprehensible or meaningless verbiage that confuse more than it clarifies!

It is becoming more difficult to come up with stuff! There are too many terrible things happening that one could write about but I am trying to avoid negativity at present. so I am going to leave you with one of my recent short stories, which you’ll be pleased to know has a happy if not bitter sweet ending.

Stay well

HIDDEN TREASURE

“Let’s go, or we will be too late” 

“Why now?”

“Because we will miss what I want”

“What you want bloody hell Audrey!”

The auction was in full swing. Bids indicated by strange hand signals, a nonchalant wave, a nod or a bold hand in the air. The auctioneer and his assistants constantly scanning the room for higher bids, phones and internet buzzing away at the desks.

Audrey was nervous, she had no experience of a live auction. She sat at the back timidly waiting for her opportunity. Harry had refused to come in the end, he said he’d rather watch the football. She was furious with him but determined to go by herself. He’d promised to help her but it was not the first time he’d let her down and this might be the last. The auctioneer banged his gavel another lot sold. 

“Now ladies and gentleman lot 56, a silver tray circa 1924 made in workshops of Gimmel and Farmer in Lincoln”. 

A young badly dressed spotty boy held the tray up in his right hand and twirled it round,  a scowl of boredom on his face.

“Who will start me at £50?”

A large florid faced man in tweed jacket, sitting in the front row, nodded.

“Thank you sir, do I have 60?”

A bid came, Audrey looked round but she could not see who it was.

“Thank you, 70 can I get 80 it’s a rare piece”

A man casually leaning against the wall, stuck his hand up and said “80”

“80 any advance”

Audrey had her hand in her coat pocket tightly gripping a wad of notes. She went to stick her hand up, hesitated and heard the auctioneer say “100 thank you, it’s against you sir” The man at the wall shook his head.

Audrey stuck her hand up and almost shouted “120”

The auctioneer smiled and pointed his gavel in her direction “Thank you Madame, 120 any advance on 120?”

Audrey held her breath. 

“ 130 thank you, 130 I’m bid any advance” He looked in Audrey’s direction “140 Madame?”

Audrey nodded, she still could not see the other bidder. She hoped there would be no more bids, she could not go much higher, she held her breath. 

“140 Any more?” He paused arm in the air looking round the room “All done then going at 140” as his hand started down Audrey let her breath whoosh out. “ 160 thank you nearly too late but the bid is 160, Madame?”

A number of emotions passed through Audrey culminating in anger, it was hers and had been snatched away, she gripped the wad of money even harder. “200” She whispered 

“Madam did you bid?”

Audrey looked up “200” She said in a clear voice “200”

The relief and excitement when the hammer banged was almost overwhelming, she’d done it.

Audrey sat in her car, her eyes closed breathing slowly. The tray lay on the passenger seat.

“I did it” She said out loud. She picked it up, it had to be the right one. She turned it over. The hallmark stamp was embossed and below it a little worn away, the makers name in small neat lettering “Gimmel & Farmer” She ran her hand across the surface letting it rest in the middle where a circular disc  was raised above the flat surface. She breathed out and gently applying pressure twisted the disc it was stiff but eventually it unscrewed. The small plate came away to reveal a hidden hollow. Audrey stared at a small lump covered in shiny paper. She took her nail file from her handbag and gently pried it loose. Her hand was shaking and she nearly dropped it. Audrey calmed herself and excitedly unwrapped the small package.

She arrived home, Harry was on the sofa sound asleep, snoring, several cans of beer on the table beside him. She looked down at him and grimaced, where was that good looking man she’d married 41 years ago gone and all his promises gone too? Now after years of research and waiting to possess that old family heirloom, she might not have to listen to any more.

Audrey got far more for her treasure than she thought she would and a fair price for the tray. She sat back and smiled, as the aircraft jetted through the sky. “Another drink Madame?” The Stewardess asked. Audrey liked first class.  “Yes please”

 Day 212

Well we’ve done it, we’ve put the house on the market and we are at stage one of our cunning plan! Now will someone buy it? One has to be optimistic even under the current circumstances. Now we trawl available properties in parts unknown. It is still quite surprising what you can purchase for less than £170000 when you look further afield. We are currently considering around the Skegness area. As we are “downsizing” there is a lot of choice especially as you get a lot more for your money in that area. It’s never to late to start a new adventure no matter how comfortable you are or how daunting it might seem! It would be easy to stay and continue as before but where’s the fun in that and besides who wants to continue to live in Northampton? Indeed as stated, it is our intention to not spend the majority of our time in the UK. Really we should have been brave enough to have moved years ago but circumstances were not always auspicious to do so. 

To lockdown or not to lockdown that is the question? I say let the damn thing fly. It is not going away. The governments current strategy is muddled at best and useless at worse! Painful though it would be economically maybe a complete lockdown would be the best in the long run. A halfway house of a tier system is not going to cut it. How do you combat an unseen enemy, a force of nature that is only behaving the way it needs to in order to survive? It has finally crept in to the care home where Wendy’s mother lives and although she shows no sign of the virus she has tested positive. So we wait and see in the same boat as so many who can do nothing, it is out of our hands. She is 90 and has a benign form of dementia, she has little grasp of what is going on or who peoples are. These are troubling and tragic times and we have to endure!

Stay well

 Day 211

You know I am sitting here without a single clue as to what to write today. There is plenty going on but none of it is of great interest. Do you sit sometimes and have no real thoughts going through your brain? I find it is happening more an more as I grow older. Perhaps because I don’t work anymore there is no other daily stimulus? Do you experience periods where you aren’t inspired? I normally write (apart from this blog) almost everyday but I have not done so for some time. The muse has left me for now. I have been drawing each day, so not entirely devoid of inspiration. It is not important and is temporary. 

Do people still keep diaries? I’m sure there are those who do. I suppose a blog is a kinder of diary, it records some of what goes on in my life and is a commentary on those issues which I feel strongly about or find just plain mad or ridiculous. As it says at the top of my page I have an opinion on almost everything and I try to be balanced in my view. It is often difficult to understand another view when yours is diametrically opposed to it! I think we all recognise those who are truly bad or corrupt and yet we shake our heads in disbelief at those who continue, oblivious to their faults, to support them. So many people and so many differences of opinion. 

Stay well

 Day 210

The amount of depressing stuff you see on all the social media platforms (not Instagram) would lead you to believe that the world has gone to shit! It overwhelms the good stuff by a wide margin. Is it that we are more likely to post what we don't like or object to than anything uplifting? Are we predisposed to argue and oppose? I don’t have an answer I’m just asking? There are funny and interesting posts and a lot of them. Naturally my choices of who to follow dictate my feed. I try to get a balance but since certain events have happened the level of criticism and vitriol has increased and does not stop. Yesterday on FB page I suddenly found loads of adverts from feeds to the best of my knowledge I have never accessed? I have found you can block them but it was very odd. This was not just a few but thirty or forty posts. On the subject of blocking, did you know you can block emails? On Apple you click on the email address and it gives you the option to make a new contact, scroll down and it has an option to block that email address, just like blocking a number on your phone. I suspect it has a similar function on other operating systems?

Stay well

 Day 209

The start of another exciting week? Today I will officially put the house we have lived in for 34 years on the market. And I’m going to get my hair (what there is) cut after 7 months. 

We are going to downsize, as they say! I have been looking at the property market and have been pleasantly surprised at what is available depending on how much you want to spend. When we move to Crete, it won’t matter to much where we live so we are looking further afield than Northampton. We have this thing called a car so travelling is not an issue. 

I am going to try and to stop commenting on the twin idiots (you know who I mean) and write about other more pleasant things. I will probably fail but I’ll give it a try. 

I have spent the last two weeks, with my dodgy foot, watching the Giro in the afternoon. I have a GCN race pass which allows uninterrupted coverage of the race and a fascinating one it was. Right up until the last day the winner had not been decided. Two 24 year olds one from Ineos and the other from Sun Web, were on the same time with only a 15km time trial left to ride. In the end one of them won by 39 seconds! I have written before about my admiration for these athletes and their stamina and durability. Not only do they race for thousands of kilometres, over every type of terrain, they have to withstand all weathers and some terrible crashes, speeding down mountains at speeds in excess of 100 km per hour, after climbing them to start with. To be fair some of them have to wear some very dodgy designed outfits (Look up pictures of the EDF team top!) but they are incredible!

Stay well

 Day 208

Todays word from Susie: PINCHFART (16th century) a miser, one who withholds money from others

A brief return to you know who? Naturally I don’t want Trump to be re-elected, I think in this column I’ve made my feelings about him crystal clear. So obviously Biden has to be elected, no question but that a 76 year old is the only alternative that the Democrats could muster up? The fact that he is not Trump seems to be his only USP?

I am willing to criticise any one and everyone, if in my humble opinion they are misguided, corrupt, show little or no compassion, racist, misogynistic or just plain wrong! There is no shortage of people in power who fall under one or all of those traits. We have always been sceptical about our leaders (and I acknowledge it cannot be an easy job)  but surely we have never had such an inept lot as we have had over the last 20 years? From Blair to Johnson  that have in one way or another been deceitful, corrupt, misguided, cruel, stupid, liars and well the list goes on and on! You have to admit they have placed our country in the perilous position we now find ourselves. (Covid not withstanding) Can you honestly tell me those who voted to leave the EU are enjoying the early consequences of their vote? I have news for them it will get worse much worse long before it ever gets better and the damage maybe irreversible. Boris’s brave new Britain is something that exists only in his mind and if you could get a frank and honest answer from him I’m sure privately he despairs about a future he did as much as anyone to ruin! 

I cannot wait to leave and the plan is in place.

Stay well

 Day 207

I return to a subject that has been raging all year and for all of my lifetime and long before. This year we have had Black Lives Matter and rightly so. The horrors that has fallen upon people over time simply because of their skin colour is unacceptable. That any kind of prejudice is prevalent in any society regardless of its aim is abhorrent. As I have said many many many times the use of labels is for me as much part of the problem as the need to establish an identity. My experience tells me that it wont disappear. As long there are those who want others to be afraid, to blame someone or have the need to feel superior, prejudice will remain. I would espouse the theory that if all racial prejudice was eradicated some other form of hate and fear of another “difference” would almost certainly replace it! It is completely understandable, that now in the 21st century with all the advances that humans have made and with far reaching changes of societies attitude, that those who still fear and experience what they see as prejudice, should protest. I hope that it will fade and education can make the difference (not withstanding my earlier assertion) As adults we have a collective responsibility to make sure younger generations are enlightened. I truly believe that the majority have no prejudice but as always those who do shout louder and in certain places it is so ingrained in the fabric of society, that even those who believe they are not can still act that way. Even joking about such matters shows a lack of understanding of how hurtful it can be. Personally if someone I know says anything even in a jokey way that constitutes some form of racial content, I point it out and tell them that I find it unacceptable. Some of you may think that is silly or harsh, after all its just fun but I think it is a way in combating even mild attitudes of prejudice. Zero tolerance! I encourage you to do the same. Think how you would feel if it was you they were joking about?

Stay well

 Day 206

Word of the Day TMESIS from the Greek Means the cutting of a word like un-bloody-believable!

Well the world at present, if not always, is un-bloody-believable, thats for sure! Do you, like me , sit wondering if things can get any madder only to find they have? Human kind is bat shit, off the charts nuts. The evidence is all around. Since the advent of the mobile phone camera, I swear, humans have increased their stupidity ten fold! With so many places to post our collective madness, it seems there is no shortage of people doing weird things just for the hell of it. Some of it is much funnier when it backfires but you wonder what possess these idiots to do it in the first place? This is behaviour that there can be no doubt is a phenomenon that has only developed alongside the mobile. I’m sure many mad things were done prior to the advance of this technology but is has grown exponentially since the advance of mobile cameras. What a weird and troubled lot we are. Unfortunately to a degree it detracts from the real problems the world faces and I don’t just mean the current pandemic. Cruelty, suppression and atrocities are going on all around us and our country is no exception. We are quick to forget what was once a headline and front page news. The problems reported did not disappear they just got replaced by the latest troubles. Refugees are still strewn over Europe in camps they have been in some of them for a very long time. Once out of the news cycle these problems did not stop, they just were no longer prominently reported. I think the overriding feeling is one of helplessness. 

It was not my intention to make you miserable but once you start typing it just comes out.

Have a great day and don’t worry be happy!

Stay well

 Day 105...............just seeing if you paying attention 205!

Todays word from Susie Dent BAYARD (16th century) one blind to the light of knowledge who has all the self confidence of ignorance!

Today is my 68th birthday, no big deal. And just to be boring happy birthday to Jeff Goldblum also born today and exactly the same age. Now like you I have had a birthday every year so they are not new. Strangely when I woke, I had forgotten and it wasn’t until I saw the card my darling wife had left me that it came back to me! There is nothing we can do about getting older but I don’t mind every year is another adventure and this one has been a real adventure. My dearest friend Peter gave me a card which says follow your dreams on the front. No matter what your age keep dreaming and reaching forward, there is much to look back on but that is the past and so is all that I have written up to this point! Never give up your dreams.

Stay well

 Day 204

When this pandemic entered our country I am sure like me you thought we will live with it for a while and than everything will return to much the same as it was? Now we know better, it is not fading and if anything it has renewed its grip and the pandemic continues at a frightening rate. I have espoused the theory that as the planets worst pest, nature is trying to destroy us before we destroy nature. For all the climate change, conservationists and those who fight to save endangered species and habitats, the world of money and profit only pays lip service to these things whilst they relentlessly pursue success and growth. None of us want to see the place where we live destroyed and yet we feel powerless to stop it. Things have changed but it has taken legislation to make it. As an example, do you think that car manufacturers would have invested in hybrid and electric vehicles as they now have done without being forced to? Eventually oil will run out and an alternative would have had to be found. Electric cars are advancing quickly but it will still be some years before it has the same range as the internal combustion engine. We need a fundamental change in how we view travelling. Unfortunately we are all to well aware of how poor our public transport systems are in the UK. For too long we have relied on the personnel freedom that a car gives us. I must declare that my travelling days are largely over and having retired I drive very little. I put fuel in my small car once every three months and do no more than 3000 miles per year! Locally I walk (not right now!) or cycle (not at the moment) Electric is relatively expensive to buy, although cheap to run and the average car owner may not be able to afford the purchase? Hybrid is a halfway house (we have one) but the electric motors are generally short range for town. I would love to buy a Tesla but they are way out of my budget.

No matter what is produced we are only going to change things if WE change our habits. As with all modern problems the evidence and info is confusing and contradictory. We don’t really know what to do? There is no doubt that all the evidence supports our continuing destruction of our planet and its resources but until everybody agrees and we accept the changes we have to make,  nothing significant will progress. Humans have long adapted to a changing environment now we must adapt to save it!

Stay well

 Day 203

Rapidly approaching is my 68th birthday. Now here is the thing, more than one person has said to me “oh your almost 70” No I am not I am 68, if my maths is correct and I think it is, I will be 70 in two years time. Why when we were young you want to be older at 17 you want to be 18 at 18 you want to be 20 and so on (and someone in their thirties seems ancient)? When you finally get older why then would you say as many seem too “I’m nearly 70 or 80 you know” when they are  in mid 70’s or mid 60’s, why? There is no big deal in living to an older age, people have been doing it for centuries. If you get a normal span then you will live to be old. If you are like everyone else you will look back and wonder how it went by so quickly? It did not especially as time does not really exist but that is whole other discussion that I have touched upon in older blogs. Are you any wiser, knowledgeable, kinder, happier? The answer is all of the above and paradoxically, no at the same time. You still do stupid things, say stupid things are unkind and unhappy. Just not as often. You learn from mistakes. Experience gives a perspective. Really your just ageing, a simple fact of living longer. Hopefully you’ve picked up some knowledge along the way?

And so I give you a poem:

2000 years

2000 years have come and gone

I haven’t seen them all

My beard would be so long by now

It wrap around the Hall

2000 years have run there course

I wonder where they went

If I’d lived in the same house

I’d have paid a lot of rent

2000 years have run their course

I wonder how we know

Did somebody tick them off

Or use them just for show

2000 years have run their course

They went by pretty quick

A lot of people came and went

One of them was Dick

2000 years have run their course

Disasters have been many

The Earth has tried to shake us off

But we weren’t having any 

Stay well

 Day 202

A little controversy to start. I could not care less if a woman dances with another woman or two men dance together. I would only make this observation, can you judge them fairly against a celeb man with professional woman  or a celeb woman with a professional man? No matter what two women move differently that’s just physiology! Discuss.

Of course it is totally unimportant if not trivial under any circumstances but even less so in our current situation. 

Now a word about empty stadiums in the Premier League. Nothing can be done at the moment that’s just the way it must be but please turn off this ridiculous crowd noise. I don’t know what the players think but personally I find it extremely irritating! VAR makes some weird decisions but then so did referees before it was implemented. The difference is, it is there to correct mistakes and use the tech to be clear. If it is going to replicate some of the same errors of judgement from looking at a monitor and drawing lines, there is little point. Offside has always been a tricky judgement but VAR is bizarre at times!

Should we lockdown or not? Tricky. A three tiered system is not the answer. Your either locked down or you aren’t. The government have introduced a “system” that is inherently impossible to judge. Do the figures support a lockdown? Is the “science “ pointing to restrictions? Confused.com could not sort this one out, it’s a mess!

Stay well

 Day 201

My word of the day is FUCK! It is so versatile. Fucking what! Fuck you! Fuck off! Fucking hell! You fucker! Oh Fuck! Well thats fucked that! Your fucked! Fuck me! What the fuck! Well I’ll be fucked! You’ve got to be fucking joking! How fucking much? I could go on but I think Ive made my point.

I don’t often feel depressed but I fear that I might be slipping into that state. My accident last week has not helped and the strain that has put on Wendy. I am hoping it is temporary lull and that my normal equilibrium will return. It could be the culmination of the years events and I’m sure I am not alone and there are many who are far worse off. The strain on everyone this year has been elevated to a level that for many is unbearable!

One of the most annoying things is watching people going for their early morning runs passing my window as I eat breakfast, knowing I cannot as usual go out on my bike. Not only am I injured but the bike is a wreck! 

I have narrowed my choice of replacement bike, to 5 models and brands. Under normal circumstances I would be visiting the bike shops. Aside from the fact that we are still completing our quarantine, the current Covid restrictions do not encourage going out to the shops. I could buy online but a bike is a very personnel thing and has to been seen and tried. One thing has struck me reading a lot of reviews online, it is very seldom that the reviewer says anything too bad about any of the machines tested. The odd niggle but generally they are very positive, which makes me wonder, are all these bikes that good or is the reviewer not as objective as they could be? 

Stay well

 Day 200

There was a point during these two hundred days when it looked like things might be calming down but it was false hope in a world where lies and deceit are the modern currency. Winter was always going to be a sharp rise in a virus we cannot control. The government has handled the crisis poorly to say the least but let us not forget that we largely have only ourselves to blame. We’ve all seen those who think that can flaunt the guidelines and those who gather in large crowds even though they know it is dangerous. I ask what would have happened without an NHS? If we had a privatised system think how bad it could be! Once more I remind you that we have a collective responsibility to protect both ourselves and each other there is no other way to lessen Covid-19!

So Johnston says his “oven ready” deal is no longer viable. He changed the negotiation and the EU stood firm as they are perfectly entitled to do. So he walks away like the weaselly coward he is. In my opinion he never wanted a deal, he always wanted to walk away with “no deal”. All the Tories who stood up and made statements on how easy this whole process would be “Done over a cup of tea” The arrogance and hubris of this lot is beyond belief. Johnson is unfit to lead a conga! He promises more than any of his predecessors and has no intention of keeping them. He says what he thinks we want to hear and treats us with contempt. The chancellor has promised to spend billions we don’t have, on so many things (hoping we won’t remember) it is madness. I assure you this government have never had or will ever have any intention of spending this money. The Tories have been in power for 10 years, remember “austerity” they have managed with Farage’s help to fuck us up completely. Boris one of the architects of this chaos, saw an opportunity to become PM, he did not believe a single word he was saying but if it got him there fine! He continues to lie and deceive us and will do so for as long as he is PM. Don’t for one minute think the majority of the conservatives and particularly the Cabinet give a shit about this country after whatever happens it won’t affect them, they are all wealthy and taken care of by their rich friends who are influencing their policies.

Never has this country had a PM  that unashamedly lies and says anything he wants in the belief that the public will say “oh alright then”! His assertion that we will be this great free country is absurd nonsense. Okay no one could predict the crisis Covid would cause but we should have known he would mismanage that regardless!

Can’t wait to leave this place behind!

Stay well

 Day 199

Much pain today but thats just the news! Ankle hurts a lot this morning. Despair, depression, pissed off, miserable, lethargic, sore and those are just some of my more optimistic feelings this morning. I jest, well a bit! I am sick of the world and almost everyone in it. sick of the moaning (especially mine) sick of the lies, the deceit, the refusal to face up to what we are facing by those who think they are immune. Let me tell about reality, yesterday the home which Wendy’s mum resides has had two positive cases of Covid. Kerry who runs the home called very upset to let us know. They have taken every precaution since the beginning and have successfully kept it out until now but even they have now found this insidious virus has invaded. Naturally the place is lockdown and isolation protocols have been implemented. There is nothing we can do. Wendy’s mum has just turned ninety and has dementia. If it is her time then we have to except it. 

My apologies for being so down this morning but even I succumb to these feelings from time to time. It won’t last long, it’s not my nature. I hope you are in a much better frame of mind than i am this morning? 

Stay well

 Day 198

Todays word from Susie YONDERLY a 19th century adjective meaning downcast preoccupied weak in body and spirit. I am definitely yonderly at present!

Hobbling about on one and half legs is a pain, literally and metaphorically. We take our fitness and mobility for granted and it only when misfortune slows us down that we realise how much our freedom of movement means. My foot will heal but at present it is twice the size of it’s twin! I am using a walking stick and feel like an old man limping around my home. When you are used to being active, this enforced rest is frustrating. It is putting a strain on Wendy which she could well do without. I have got in touch with OpenReach but they only have voicemail and have had no response. I shall persist and keep leaving messages until I get some response. they say they will email a “Claim Pack” oh joy!

Watching the Giro at the moment is my substitute for not being able to ride my (broken) bike. The frame did not survive and a replacement is required. I have been trawling the Net looking at the road bikes currently available. It is amazing how many models are “out of stock” I have not looked at new bikes for some years, mine having been purchased about 8 years ago. The biggest change appears to be disc brakes but the basics are still the same. It is comforting that once the basic frame design was optimised it has never changed only the materials have improved and aerodynamics have altered but the bike is still the same basic geometry. A design for all time!

I have ridden since i was 5 years of age and took my first faltering wobbles in the back garden of 91 Stag Lane Burnt Oak in north London. It is and has been one of the great pleasures of my life and in spite of a few spills and accidents, including this unprovoked one, I will continue to do so until I no longer physically able.

Stay well

 Day 197

Todays word FLIZZOMS old dialect for old flakes or particles such as those found from dunking a biscuit

So which are you Medium, high or Very high? It’s 40 years since I’ve been very high but at present any drug is worth taking just to have a rest from this madness. Do you know what to believe any more? Is any story, news, print, accurate or telling us anything we can trust? I’m giving up and off to find some good old fashioned LSD. If I’m going to be tripped out I want to do it on my terms! 

So today I am going to regale you with one of my short stories

Being the Devil is not easy. For a start you have to answer to a lot of different names, Beelzebub, Satan, Diablo, Lucifer, Old Nick etc (117 according to the internet). People believe I am fallen angel, kicked out of heaven for rebelling against father. This is true but not the full story. We did have a falling out. You try living with a omnipresent God. Overbearing is an understatement, so yes I did have a bit of a tantrum and he did throw me out. Mum tried to reason with him but he was having none of it. He can be very unforgiving. He has forgotten all about it and all but forgotten me. I don’t mind after all he did me a favour and now I am very much my own man or at least thats what he lets me believe? 

It’s not so bad being in charge of hell. And before you accuse me and fall for all that nonsense about me punishing sinners, that is not what I do. I do have demons and it’s no holiday camp, it’s not meant to be. We  supervise and keep things ordered. If you do end up in hell it is all of your own making and you repeat your worse sins for eternity.  There is no torture, hellfire and damnation just the drip drip drip of reliving your own personal nightmare! 

I find it amusing that people worship me and practice all sorts of rituals and black magic. I can tell you with absolute certainty that worshipping my father, any other God, me or not believing anything, makes not the slightest difference, it is what you do in life that counts. 

I occasionally look in on some of my residents and am amazed, they are always surprised why the same things keeps happening ad infinitum. It’s boring and I go back to my residence vowing never to do it again. The demons and I play all sorts of games for amusement but there are strict rules that we must not interfere with human activity. Rules are there to be broken and our diversion is being mischievous  with you. Just tricks and jokes to relieve the boredom. Putting unsuitable men in positions of power is a favourite!

I want to set the record straight, this foolishness about selling your soul to the Devil to have your greatest desire, is hogwash. For a start I don’t want more residents, far from it, we’ve got too many already. I’m having to build more and levels by the month as you horrible people keep flooding in at an alarming relate. I hardly need to buy a soul your too good at getting here all on your own!

Our favourite game, is betting on which famous people will arrive . It kills a little time and is our version of a reality show! The current front runners, are Donald Trump, Valadamir Putin, Boris Johnson and that guy who owns all those retail outlets in the UK Philip somebody? Okay I know they are obvious but it’s great fun! We are struggling to agree on what Trump’s personnel hell will be after all there is a multitude to chose from. If you are wondering why I have not mentioned Dominic Cummings, he is one of my chief Demons and he’s really enjoying himself!

As I said we like to play little tricks !

Stay well