SIR GUESTLING THORN

Day 35

I cannot help myself but I have to comment on yet another load of bollocks that has spewed out of the Trumpster’s horrible orifice. Calls about taking bleach have spiked and he can’t understand why, I can only type **** ****. **** **** ****. I consider myself an eloquent man but words fail me!

So this morning, what is this wet stuff falling from the sky? This will test us!
Smile take a breath and relax, there isn’t that better?

Today is my sons 36th birthday and it is the first one he has had where we won’t be able to see him in person. Apart from the fact I find it hard to believe he is that age, it is at times like these you appreciate human contact. Yes we have FaceTimed but it’s not the same. I did drop off his present and card. No encroachment was committed and I left quickly.

I find reporting of the news, which I only skim over, has become far to centred on everything that has gone wrong and as always looking for someone to blame. It is in these times of crisis the reports should be positive and try to give us optimism and hope. Instead with the exception of a few feel good stories we only get negativity. I know bad things are happening and they need to report on stuff that might affect us all but it is a depressing litany of negativity.

And now I have depressed you with my negativity over their negativity, let’s lighten the mood!

A signalman on the railway in a remote part of the country is looking to get promoted. An examiner arrives to test him.
Right says the examiner your signal box is malfunctioning and there are two trains heading towards each other on the same line, what would you do?
I run out of the box to the manual lever on the track and pull the signal to red and stop
Great but it’s frozen solid now what?
I’d have my heavy mallet with me and hit the signal to loosen it
Great but it’s been hit by lighting and is immovable now what?
I’d run back to the box and open the emergency board where the button is to stop all trains on the line
Marvellous but unfortunately the power has been cut and nothing is working, now what?
Right, I’d run out of the box and go 250 yards up the line and get my Uncle Bob out of his house and bring him done here.
Why the hell would you fetch you Uncle Bob?
Well he’s never seen a train crash before!!!!!

Curtesy of Mr Connolly

Stay well