Day 172
Monday and now the rule of six? Personally I’ve set-up a row of mirrors to fool people into thinking there are loads in my house! I have a several life size cardboard cutouts sat round my front room. They are all governments minsters and Boris who now can’t all sit in the same room. Okay it’s not a pleasant sight but hypocrisy never is! I am hopping on one foot every ten minutes and turning round in a circle because I read somewhere on Facebook this stops the virus getting to you via the Devil! I’ve painted all my walls in red and green and gold because on Twitter it said that this wards off any invasion by Aliens, who as we know are responsible for all the trouble in the world! I am hoping we get some more rules and advice to follow soon because I like to keep up with the latest stuff! I write this covered in cellophane and greased with olive oil, which makes it awkward to hop and I keep slipping over but what the hell better to be safe! Some people are getting used to the razor wire that now protrudes from the wall at the front of my house but so far there has only been one or two incidents that have drawn blood so I think they have got the layout. I will be electrifying it today, you can’t be too careful!
I think that has most of it covered but I’m willing to listen to any further sensible measures to ensure we don’t have contact with anyone, now where is that blunderbuss?
Stay well
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